Wednesday, November 19, 2008

James Bond Never Dies

I have never been a fan of Bond, James Bond. But the last movie, Bond Episode 21 : Casino Royale was good. It was a much darker & grittier movie than expected. Which makes me look forward to watching Bond Episode 22 : Quantum of Solace (see how I make the titles less confusing this way haha)

Continuing from the previous installment, they decided to make this new one even DARKER & GRITTIER with almost zero humour! Now, this makes the Bond purists very unhappy. They want their Pierce Brosnan back!

I am through with you Bond, I am moving to Wisteria Lane!

I am glad they didn't listen though. When your Bond girl turns into a Desperate Housewife & chooses a plumber over you, you know that it's time for a makeover.

A visibly happier Teri Hatcher

Of course, Bond movies being Bond movies, you MUST have these :

Opening Credits

Bond holding a pistol. Check. Bond firing a gun. Check. Bond falling into water. Check. Silhouettes of nude gals. Check. Theme song sung by famous people. Check

I think they get the traditional Bond opening sequence spot on. And I will give them extra credit for managing to put it all off without reminding me of any Stephen Chow spoofs.


This new Bond isn't much of a geek, the only gadget he possessed was a Sony Ericsson hand phone. He very much prefer using his kung fu fighting skills to get out of tricky situations, most of the time he ended up killing his opponent much to the chagrin of M.

As for cars, we get a glimpse of the Aston Martin DBS which was mercilessly destroyed (again) very early on in the film. For a list of all cars featured in the film go here

And Q is still nowhere to be seen...

The Bond Girls

We have got Gemma Arterton & Olga Kurylenko as eye candy this time around. Though Olga is tougher than your average Bond girl, kicking ass together with him just like an Ukrainian Michelle Yeoh.

I love man with big guns : Agent 47, Max Payne now Bond

Bond only beds Artenton in the movie. And thanks to our thoughtful censorship board we have to rely on our power of imagination to guess what happen.

Well, it's only a small price to pay to ensure we do not let dirty Western culture pollute our innocent minds.


In keeping up with the times, the villain in this episode is a *gasp* freaking ENVIRONMENTALIST who is hell bent on taking over the natural resource at a time!

I will not hesitate in adding melamine in your milk

All his konco-konco drove environmentally friendly hybrid cars. I wouldn't be surprised if he separates his trash or brings his own reusable chopsticks when dining out.

Hardly menacing at all. I bet Bond isn't losing any sleep over this guy.

He didn't even look the part of a Bond villain. What no scars on the face, bullet lodged inside the head or shedding tears of blood?

This is what Bond villains should look like...

For greater results, add mini sidekick


This movie is dead serious from beginning till end as James Bond was in an unforgiving mood. I miss the humour and witty lines from the British spy.

We don't even get to hear him say 'Bond....James Bond'

All in all, Quantum of Solace is never near as good as Casino Royale. Let's hope they got the next movie right.

If not, then we should really bring back Pierce Brosnan for James Bond : The Musical.

That will really make the purist jump off buildings


ericG said...

Couldn't agree more. Casino Royale was much better and smoother storyline...

Johnny Ong said...

what a good write-up on bond. basically i just enjoy myself in all bond movies

acura said...

ericG : More talking & less action will be nice. And Casino Royale is still the best

Johnny Ong : Inject more fun into the movies. Bond needs some one to cheer him up

foongpc said...

I think your post is more fun than sitting through the Quantum Of Solace! I'm never a fan of James Bond, anyway. Maybe James Bond : The Musical may be a better bet. LOL!

Btw, I enjoyed reading this post. You must write more of such posts, where you injected a lot of sense of humour : )

Loke said...

i had a good read. and this is what bernard from greentea is talking bout to me today!


desperateblogger said...

lol! nice review. can't wait for a bond musical. brosnan just have to play the part of the singing and dancing bond.... james bond.

BernardC said...

If ever there is musical version of JB starring Mr Brosnan, I will make sure I buy the first row.

acura said...

foong : Thanks for the compliment. It's really nice to know you enjoy the post, even preferring it over the movie ;)

I will make sure my subsequent posts came with more doses of humour haha

Loke : Glad you enjoy it

desperateblogger & Bernard : judging from your comments, James Bond : The Musical seems like a goob bet.

I think lots of people are going to pay good money to see a singing dancing Pierce Brosnan & his Bond gals

BernardC said...

Haha..u wanna go for the Starbucks charity event..come come....

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